Hello. How are you today?
A week ago today I turned 27. TWENTYSEVEN!! That's only 3 short years away from 30. THIRTY!!!!!!
But, as stunned as I felt to be turning 27 I got to thinking about what I've experienced and done with my life up to now. Funny how birthdays make you do that isn't it? Evaluate your life.
Here's what I came up with anyway.
A week ago today I turned 27. TWENTYSEVEN!! That's only 3 short years away from 30. THIRTY!!!!!!
But, as stunned as I felt to be turning 27 I got to thinking about what I've experienced and done with my life up to now. Funny how birthdays make you do that isn't it? Evaluate your life.
Here's what I came up with anyway.
1) I met and married my best friend. Shaun and I were very close friends before making the transition to being a couple. We met in 2003, coupled up in 2004 and got married in 2005. This April will mark 8 years together. Growing up I said I would not contemplate getting married or having babies before the age of 25. I was 20 when we married, Shaun was just 18. Looking back, we should absolutely have waited, in fact I'd say it's lucky that we're so good together. We were so young and things could have gone so differently (although there was obviously no doubt in our minds, even at that age). On the 17th September 2005 a rather wet and windy day, we married. Six months to the day that our surprise arrived.
2) That surprise came in the form of Sophie-Leigh. Our daughter, arriving 5 weeks early and yet still weighing in at 7lbs 3ozs. A perfect little pink girl. She is a handful at times (aren't all kids?), but she is a pleasure to parent. My precious baby girl will be turning 7 in about 5 weeks - no longer a baby after all. She is beautiful and clever and wants to be just like Mummy when she grows up! Scrumptious!
An awful lot of growing up was done throughout my pregnancy and also the months that followed. In fact, in some respects I still have a lot of growing up to do. My husband has nailed it but I often find it easier to sink back into childhood memories and stay there a while - being an adult is hard! Being a parent is hard! But both have their rewards if you put in the work and are patient.
3) Sixteen and a half months later saw the arrival of her little brother, Rio Michael. It's a shame I have no baby photo's of theirs on this laptop as they would have been much more appropriate for this blog post but never mind. Rio arrived at 39+6 gestation on 3rd July 2006 and weighed in at 8lbs 6ozs. He was a good baby and is a good boy still. Mostly. He has his moments. He is loving and cuddly and delicious! He says things that are way beyond his years, for example... "Mummy, if you can climb the first step, then you can climb any step in the world."
How deep is that? For a 5 year old I was suitably stunned. For me it's one of those things that I could type out, print out and frame it. In fact I just might and hang it in my kitchen, or more appropriately my hallway, which is where he said - on the bottom stair!.
4) And then in another World Cup year, we had our second son, our bundle of giggly babyish wonderfullness! I'd like to emphasize the Fullness. I've never felt so enriched in life as I do when I have my babies around me (and they're behaving...). The 2nd July 2010 at 08:11 and 4 weeks early he screamed into the world and weighed 8lbs 4ozs. Thank goodness he was early! I appear to grow big babies, hmmm.
I'm having a great time right now watching as he discovers and experiences more and more things for himself. This week he experienced snow! We wrapped him up in his coat, hat, scarf, mitts and wellies and walked him around to the school bus instead of pushing him in his Urban Detour (this pushchair has no problem with snow whatsoever).
I highly doubt there will be more babies for us, I would have more but it would not make financial sense to have babies when you can't afford to give them all the things you want to give them. I'm not too sad, I know I have been INCREDIBLY lucky to have had my 3 healthy darlings without any complications and I am grateful everytime I look at them.
Although I have been a parent for almost 7 years now, I find my confidence can still be a bit shaky with some things and I find myself looking for reassurance that I'm doing things right. But then I think, I'm actually doing a very good job! My husband and I have kept these children safe, warm, nourished and alive for all this time and will continue to do so.
5) We managed to buy our house, well, we got a mortgage. In 2006 we we granted a small mortgage to buy our first property. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to buy us a house with 3 bedrooms, a garden and a driveway. For now this is enough but one day we would like to move. Shaun would like to move closer to the city and I would like to live out in the country - there must be a compromise somewhere? I want inglenooks, log fires and an Aga, and he wants sleekness and modern living. <sigh>
We have lots to do in our house, new kitchen needed urgently before the whole lot falls apart. Lots of decorating, kitchen and bathroom first, then our bedroom hopefully, then the hallway, stairs and landing. Not to mention the garden that still isn't done. It WILL get done this year, it has to. I still want a new table.
6) I survived my Dad passing away. I wasn't sure that I could but I did. I was 2800 miles away in The Gambia when my mum told me, I crumbled right then and there in the hotel reception area. I spent the next few days floating somewhere between denial, disbelief and silent grief. I spent a lot of time looking at the stars while I was still in West Africa, wondering and hoping that I had the strength to be there for my Mum, older sister and brother when I got home. We flew home early leaving Sophie and Rio with Shaun's Mum and Dad to finish their holiday. They arrived home a few days later. Shaun will tell you I dealt with my Dads death well but I don't think I dealt with it at all. I had a meltdown at the funeral where I sobbed into my sisters shoulder but once we were out of the crematorium I must've put everything in a little box and locked it all away. Occasionally it creeps up on me when I don't expect it and I have to spend a few minutes gathering my thoughts together again. This year will mark four years without him.
7) I passed my driving test!!! Whoop! My mum got me a brand new lovely bubbly Punto. And I crashed it. Well, I first scraped it on a wall. And then I skidded on black ice whilst trying to stop and help another lady that had done the same. I came out worse. The ice sent me skittling through a farmers fence and was teetering into a ditch. I wasn't hurt luckily but it was a very scary thing to go through and one which my husband mocks me about to this day.
8) I have seen some very memorable sights abroad. One of my favourites being The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. God I love that place, I have been just once and it was for our 4th anniversary in 2009, Shaun had booked it as a surprise and what a wonderful surprise it was. I enjoyed every moment of it! The living statues on Las Ramblas were nothing short of spectacular and a little spooky sometimes. So still you could believe they were stone, and suddenly they'll open their eyes and make you jump.
9) I have suffered the heartbreak that is miscarriage. We had just returned from Barcelona and I was only 5 weeks along. On that very night that we returned, at 9pm I knew. I will not go into too much detail as it is graphically horrendous. I remember sitting there in silence wondering how a day can go from wonderful to horrible in a few hours, that morning we were on our flight home looking forward to seeing Sophie and Rio.
I was amazed at how fiercely I loved that baby, although scientifically it was merely a collection of cells. To me that was our baby and it was so very much wanted. Up until that point I had taken pregnancy for granted, I'd never had any problems and hadn't expected any. It made me appreciate the sheer fragility of creating a new life, it made me see it for the miracle that it truly is.
10) I started writing a book, it's still unfinished. I handed out the first few chapters to a few friends and family members back in 2009 to see what they thought and I now find myself being asked to finish it. Maybe I will. One day. I have other things that I want and need to do first. But to me this still classes as an achievement and it gave me much enjoyment when I was writing it.
So this is me, aged 27. There are of course other things that I have achieved like GCSE's and going to college but these are no longer important for me. I may or may not use them in years to come, I know what I want, I know the kind of life I want to lead but I also know the skills I learned at school are nothing compared to the lesson's I still have to learn I'm sure.
The skills I want to learn now are more practical like sewing, crafting and decorating. I don't want to have to look online or ask someone what is the best way to make curtains, or recover a chair. I want to be the one they come and ask. I want to be able to say "I made that" at whatever item I'm holding or looking at.
This year is the year.
I wonder what else this year has in store for me?
I welcome it's challenge.
Thank you so much for reading today.
Lots of Love
K xox
